Cycle of love.

Let’s take a moment to appreciate the fact that I finally feel genuinely happy with my life right now. I always tried to make myself think I was happy before; that nothing was missing and I loved the way things were. But none of that was true. It was a cycle of thinking I needed a guy to complete me as a person, or show me what life was really about. 

In all honesty I was what you might consider a hopeless romantic in the worst possible way. A loveaholic if you will. It seemed from the time I hit puberty and realized boys thought I was attractive, I needed one, (sometimes more), to make my life go round. That is a mistake I hate admitting to, and pray I wasn’t the only one who made it. 

When I realized how much fun dating, kissing, holding hands, etc. was, I seriously felt like nothing else could possibly be more important. Even my favorite book or a cup of coffee from the local cafe couldn’t match the endorphin levels that a boy who gave me attention could. Pathetic, I know. No offense to anyone else out there who’s been in my shoes. But looking back on it, I’m embarrassed for myself!

Now, don’t get me wrong, being in a relationship can be an absolutely wonderful thing. It really does make your life feel just a little better. But when you begin to feel that without one, your life isn’t complete at all, some perspective is in dyer need. Having that special connection and bond with a person does put you on top of the world. But it can become easy to put their needs and emotions ahead of your own, leaving you feeling drained and totally imbalanced. If my relationships have taught me anything, it’s that space is a MUCH needed thing, for not only you but them as well. 

The honeymoon phase of a relationship can last anywhere from two weeks to four months just depending on the couple, but we all know that once it’s hit it’s peak, things aren’t nearly as exciting anymore. Those butterflies might have receded now that you’re both comfortable with one another, and in all honesty some things they do might even annoy the shit out of you now. That’s normal! But so is getting back in touch with the outside world!

When you spend all that quality time with the “perfect person” you’ve been dreaming of, you forget that you’ve still got friends and family from time to time. If you’re lucky, they’ll be understanding. They will get that you’re head over heals and let you enjoy your happy time until you’re ready to come back down to earth. But there are times when they will be hurt. Let me just say, you should pay very close attention to your friends and families needs just as much as yours and your new love interest. They have usually been there for you and will continue to be there for you much longer than the guy of the moment. This is not meant to say you are a bad person, or that you can’t still enjoy the time you have with your significant other, but keep in mind who will be there if something goes wrong. I for one would rather have the cushioned support of my family and friends than the cold hard ground.m

Reality you must accept.

If you are going to fall in love with me,


It’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with.


You are falling in love with my insecurities,


And my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me.


You are falling in love with my immaturity,


My constant need to feel loved and appreciated,


My overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession,


And my tendency to jump to conclusions.


You fall in love with my troubled past,


My unrealistic hopes and dreams,


And the fact that I seriously believe they could come true.


You fall in love with my wild temper,
My illogical thought process,


And how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart, despite my feminist views.


If you fall in love with me,


You fall in love with my self-hate, all my imperfections,


And my perception that nobody could ever love me.


You fall in love with the history that has caused me to think this way.


But you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you,


The way I’ll text you in the mornings just to tell you I hope you have a great day,


And at night, to wish you sweet dreams.


You’re falling in love with the occasionally thought-provoking things I say,


And the silly things I do in an attempt to see you smile.


You are falling in love with the way I blush when people ask me about you,


And how I’ll hold your hand, even if we’re fighting.


But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me,


Despite my thinking that it is impossible.

My sweet thoughts.

Time stands still when you're close to me.🕘 You make me laugh like a child 👼 and hold me like you'll never let go. I'm thinking of you always, when you stare at me and smile 😊 I wonder what's running through that mind of yours. Is it me? Do you feel what I feel. Do you see what I see. You tickle me till I squirm around in your arms. You love ❤️comparing your palm to mine and holding 👫 it tight right after. You stroke my hair and kiss 💋 my forehead, you make me feel special. Waking up in your arms felt like home🏡 and you wouldn't let me go. And while you lie next to me, staring into my soul, only one simple joy comes to mind. I've found you.

Time doesn’t define how you feel about someone. We’ve had some ups and downs, but that doesn’t matter, as long as you’re still mine at the end of the day. 💕 I’m so hopelessly in love with you, and nothing could ever change that. You’re so much more than my boyfriend, you’re my bestfriend, you’re my rock, but most of all, my soulmate. Life could show me a million reasons to give up, but I’d always find a million more to stay. 😘 you’re my forever baby. I love you more than life itself. 💋

I'm here, can't you see? 😂😭

One of the hardest things in life is when you hold on to someone without an assurance that he’s gonna be yours forever. You’ll gonna take all the risk just to make things work out. But sometimes you might think if it’s all worth it in the end and millions of thoughts were already running through your head. Then, you’ll start to feel scared, you’re afraid of what the future brings, you fear that you might be left alone, and most of all, you are so worried if that someone you hold on to for so long wouldn’t do the same for you and just easily let go of you in the end. Well, it’s a normal thing. You feel that way because you have so much love to give yet you are not ready to be left hanging in midair, you don’t want all of your efforts to go to waste, and you want to prove that it’s all definitely worth it until the end.

If you think that love is enough to hold on to someone who never appreciates you, well, It’s time to make up your mind and do something about it. Love isn’t always enough especially when you’re the only one who’s trying to make things work out. If he really loves you, he will fight for you as well and never let go of you, and most importantly, he will make you see that it’s all worth it in the end.